How NOT to do Women's Ministry

1. Engage in gossip but call it sharing prayer requests. Better yet, call it sharing concerns.
2. Make it all feelings, no truth. The key to this is empathy. As long as we are all feeling each others feelings without an objective frame of reference for what is good, true, and beautiful, then we can call it compassion without actually being compassionate. 
3. Focus more on the aesthetic since women only care about the looks of a thing. This, of course, is why women’s Bible study material has for the most part been a thing of fluff. Books with more attention given to the cover design than to the content. 
4. Divide it by age group since they only know how to engage with people their age. Everything else in life is like this right? Daycare, school, Sunday school? When the ages are divided, wisdom of the ages is lost.
5.  Lead with one-up-(wo)manship since no one has it as bad as the other. To accomplish this, women must come prepared having recalled not the goodness of the Lord but the miseries of carrying the weight of the curse. Each must count not their blessings but all the ways they have been slighted. 
6. Center the discussion on how they don’t need a man and that girl you are enough. This is the feminist spirit of our age and so not much else needs to be said here.
7. Put the loudest one in charge since they have the gift of ministry. We don’t need women who are quiet, submissive to their own husbands, and humble before the Lord. We need women in charge of the home, church, and society. Aren’t the men loud? And haven’t they led enough? The only cure to match the inherently deep voice of the men in charge is with a woman who is slow to listen and quick to speak. 
8. Advertise it as mom’s night out because she deserves a break. Am I right? The men need to pull their share, do the dishes, fold the clothes. Why should women be working all day in the marketplace and still be expected to be the one shouldering the load at home? Women’s ministry needs to be the place where women can let go and be free, if only for just a few hours.
9. End the night with no challenge, no call to action, and no change needed because obviously nothing needs to change. The heart of women’s ministry needs to be only and always encouragement and never edification. Do not build them up by speaking strong words. Again, reference point 3.
10. Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, say, imply, allude to, convey, or hint at the fact that they are women with a distinctly female nature, including but not limited to: 
    1. The desire to grow things such as plants, sons, and daughters, 
    2. the ability to build up their men with their words (obviously men are only encouraged by nagging of the repetitive sort), 
    3. and the instinct to fill their homes with a warm, inviting, and hospitable atmosphere.

Or on the other hand, if you want to have a Biblical Women’s ministry, simply follow the scriptures


In other words, the Bible’s vision is the exact opposite: women teaching women to love, to build, to bless, to train, to endure—so that the word of God may not be reviled.

This article was inspired by Tilly Dillehay’s book My Dear Hemlock, which uses CS Lewis’ framework from The Screwtape Letters, wherein a wiser, more mature demon teaches a younger demon in the art of how to properly tempt us. Dillehay’s book is meant to show us all the peculiar sins of women and how we can overcome them through the Gospel by using humor, imaginative storytelling, and a love for the Lord.

Our women’s ministry will begin journeying through this book this evening (8/28/25) at the church.

If you’re longing for something deeper than fluff, louder than the culture, and stronger than one more ‘girls’ night out,’ join us tonight at 6pm.